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Why loving unconditionally IS the hardest thing to do

11 March 2015

We always hear talks about love, stories of others, successful or not, give our opinion on love, even though real love is one of the rarest things to experience, we always seem to have an opinion about the rules of love.

Well love, real love that is, doesn’t come with rules. Real love just IS. Silent, peaceful, unconditional! There is a big difference between “the want” and “the love”!

“The want” is conditioned by expectation, it is ruled by possessiveness, it is defined by conquering. “The love” is there asking for nothing in return, simply cherishing, simply adorning!

We may have found ourselves speaking the words “I love you” and thinking we mean it, but end up giving up on it the moment things get hard, or the other makes a mistake, or simply goes through life changes. We stop noticing them and their individual needs and acknowledge only ours. We put conditions on how much love we give them depending on how “deserving” they are. We take the lead only if they do it also. Now, I’m not saying here to drop your dignity and let someone walk all over you, I’m hoping you can make the difference, but I am asking you, reading this right now, to think about how deep is your love actually?
Can you love someone unconditionally even if they aren’t as ready as you? Can you love someone unconditionally even if they aren’t as open as you? Can you love someone unconditionally even when they are confused about their wants and needs and how you fit in there? Can you still continue to love them if they don’t give you what you want at that moment in time, then and only then?
Can you truly love someone unconditionally even if they decide they don’t love you back unconditionally also?

Unconditional love is humble. Unconditional love is accepting. Unconditional love is brave!

You take a major risk every time someone new enters your life. People come and people go, and that’s the thing about love, not many will stay… Some will speak the words “I love you” but forget it when someone else appears more interesting, and some will speak the words “I love you” and forget it when and if you’re going through a growth period and don’t know which road to take, including in what they’re concerned also. They shove you into the “no good” corner.
Real love isn’t easy and real love doesn’t come easy. It comes from trial and error mostly with yourself. It comes from banging your head into the same wall of confusion filled with other’s ideas about the rules of love!

Real love has no rules. It just is.

It waits, it understands, it is happy, it forgives, it is kind, real love doesn’t need to be selfish in order to feel fulfilled. Real love gives, and carries on without expecting instant gratification. Real love respects, appreciates and values how lucky it is. Real love knows how rare it is, and real love doesn’t give up because real love doesn’t have a rule book on how to install it. Real love will happen through good and bad, through emotional storms or peaceful breezes and this is why real love is the hardest thing to experience! Because you were never thought this!
You were only though how to give as much as you get and tell the person next to you they can only have access to as much of your heart as they can open of theirs and nothing more! This, is also why not many experience real love, because real love needs to first be accepted!

The day you look at your partner and see in him /her all your acceptance and appreciation dumped in there, just being, you will know you’ve found it! That day, you better pray you’re ready to see it, cause it will tare apart all your ideals about “the rules of love”!

Be well, and be aware my friends!

Much love,

Foto: ShutterStock.

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